The Daily Habit That Helped Sheryl Sandberg Heal After Tragedy

'Lean In' author and Facebook COO Sheryl Sandberg explains how keeping a journal helped her learn to process grief and express gratitude.

OPRAH: And also what you talk about sobeautifully in Option B is this getting throughall the firsts.

And you were keeping a journal,which I think is really a -- it's so therapeutic.I've kept journals since I was 15.But keeping a journal up until that-- Dave's birthday.Which I think marked, what, 156 days?SHERYL: Yeah, it marked five months, yeah.OPRAH: Five months.SHERYL: I had always wanted to journal.I have boxes of journals starting in first grade.OPRAH: Where you started -SHERYL: January 1.I don't think I got to January 10.Every year I started a new one.

I was hopeful.But when Dave died, I just journaled.I sat at my computer for hours and wroteand wrote and wrote.

And if I didn't write for two days,I felt like I was gonna burst.OPRAH: So it was your way of letting it out.

Yeah.OPRAH: You also came to,I will say, the hard way, the understandingof how gratitude and looking at-- because I've been doing this since the mid-'90s,where you go through the day and I choose-- I have journals filled with just things that justbrought me joy and pleasure that I'm grateful for.SHERYL: That's amazing.OPRAH: Journals filled with it.And you make the point that I triedto make to people for years that when youare looking for three things or five things inthe day that are gonna make you joyful,You go through the world looking for thegoodness that's gonna show up.SHERYL: Correct.OPRAH: Correct.SHERYL: So it turned out joy -- joy is a discipline.We have to work at it.And I probably didn't work at it hard enough before.But now I really have to work at it.OPRAH: Or you took it for granted.You do what everybody does.You took it for granted.SHERYL: Before this, I used to go to bed everynight worrying about what I did wrong andwhat I was gonna mess up the next day.And now, I go to bed thinking of the positive.But also, I notice them during the day.I say, that's gonna make the journal.In that moment.OPRAH: Oh.SHERYL: And I take -OPRAH: I love that.SHERYL: Yeah.Three moments of joy.I hope everyone watching -OPRAH: Yes.SHERYL: Or maybe you do five.Three moments.

Five moments.Write 'em down religiously.OPRAH: Any moment would do it.I mean, just because it is stopping andtaking stock of where you are in your life.And it's also looking at the good stuff.And I will tell you, when you lookfor the good stuff,more good stuff shows up.