How to Write a New Yorker Cartoon Caption: Andrew Yang Edition

The Democratic Presidential candidate Andrew Yang tries his hand in this politics edition of our Cartoon Caption Contest.

[chimes play]- Hello, I'm Andrew Yang, I'mrunning for president in 2020,and today I'm doing some captionsfor some "New Yorker" cartoons.Okay, so you've got a political candidate,and then the spousesaying something to him.They both seem kind of shellshocked.It seems like a marriagethat's going througha little bit of a strain.She seems very concerned,he seems very concerned.He seems sort ofshellshocked by something.What is it, let's see.[marker scratches]All right, here is my caption."Harold, the podium onlymakes you look more powerful"on TV."[Andrew laughs][drums bang]Okay, so here we have onevery angry looking angelrunning for office, andthen the other angelsare concerned, and then thisangel is saying something,so that is what the caption must be.What's the question?President of heaven?All right, I've got it.I wish that there was somekind of competitive elementto this.Like every time yousuccessfully caption a cartoon,you get paid $1000.[paper shuffles]I would like to makethat true for all of us,but instead of captioning a cartoon,it's living for another month.For this caption, I came up with,"No one has the heart to tell him"that there are no presidents in heaven."Can you see where I went there?[production staff laughs]All right, I think Ialready have a line in mind.It looks to me like there is a therapist,and there's a car on the therapy couch,and the therapist is giving her opinion.The caption I came up for this was,"Did they realize thatnaming you a smart car"would put so much pressure on you?"[production staff lightly applauds]Because, you see, the car seems sad.All right, it looks like onespeaker is juggling chainsaws.It's a presidential debate, let's say.All right, my caption for this one is,"Let's pass Universal Healthcarein the next 10 seconds."See?Ah, ah?Okay, so it looks to me like you havesomeone in a businesssuit doing window washing,and then someone in thewindow washing outfitdoing the business person's work.A little bit like atrading places situation.Like a Dan Aykroyd, Eddie Murphy thing.I feel like he's talking to a friendabout his experience.So the question is howto express this idea.What is he saying?I'm ready to give it a shot, sure.Are there standards ofhumor in the "New Yorker"?Is it allowed to belascivious or dirty or vulgar?- [Producer] I wouldhave to know the example,I guess, to see--- I guess we'll find out together.The question in my mind ishow did this situation arise?And so what I came up with was,"That will teach this guy not to do drugs"with the blinds open."With the thought beingthat the window washersaw him doing drugs.Oh yeah, this is up my alley, at least.What's he saying?He's got a mechanicalhorse, and he's talking.This horse, clearly nothappy with the robot horse.Well what joke would you tell?It is up my alley causeI'm all about the fact thattechnology's going to take our jobs.[Andrew chuckles]This is the caption I came up with.It says,"I find the robot horsemakes me feel more secure"about my manhood."It's a thinker.I really enjoyed it.You get your creative juices flowing.This is a blast.I highly recommend it.I've always loved comics.It's a lost art form, sothank you "New Yorker"for preserving such animportant cultural language.Look at that, I managed to make cartoonsseem really important.That's the kind of personyou need in the White House.- [Producer] All right.