Markiplier visits the Bon Appétit Test Kitchen to make Eggs In Purgatory with Carla Music.
Can he follow along using verbal instructions only?
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- Why do I need to spank thesetomatoes, I don't get it.- I want you to, justto release the juices.- Give me your juices![light music]- Hey guys, it's Carla.I'm here in the Bon AppetiteTest Kitchen this morningwith Markiplier, who you cansee on A Heist with Markiplier.And today we are goingto eggs in purgatory.- Oh!- And we're gonna see ifMark can follow along with methrough verbal instructions only.You said oh like, you don'tknow what eggs in perg--- No, I've never heard of that, no.- How would you rate yourself as a cook?- Scrappy!- Okay!I like that- I don't know.- So this is really easy.You'll, I'm like a livingrecipe and if you do whatI say then everythings gonna be great!- Wait, what if mines better than yours?Do I get your job?- I will be, that will actuallybe the best possible outcomeIt will make me feel truly,that I have done my job well.- Okay cool- Okay great.So on a count of three,we're just gonna turn aroundand start cooking, ready?- Yes- One, twothree- Three!- Okay so Mark you see the eggs.- [Mark] I do!- You see the tomatoes- I do!- [Carla] So when those guys get togetherthat's gonna be the purgatory partbut the first thing thatwe have to do is just smashthese garlic cloves.Using the, like the broad,flat side of the knife.- Got it!- Kinda just smash- [Mark] I'm way ahead of ya!- Way ahead, see!- So ahead!- Is this one of those under promise,over deliver situations?- I know how to smash things.- Great!- Please.- So once they're smashed,the skins should just kindapop right off- Mmm, uh, well--What if the skins have beensmashed into the smash?- [Carla] Well, thenyou gotta pull 'em out.- All right, cool- You have to do somedisentangling, so there'sa bowl behind the eggsif you wanna just dropyour garlic peels or any--- Why would you put that in the big bowl?- [Carla] It's a trash bowl!- You didn't say that!- Okay, so now, you have some beautifulleaves of rainbow swisschard on this baking tray.- Wait, back up a second there, what?- Well, it's Swiss chard butwe call it rainbow Swiss chardwhen the stems are different colors.So like I have a white stemmed oneand a yellow stemmed oneand a red stemmed one.- Okay- Okay,so what we're gonna do,I just want you to cut theleaf away from the stem.So put a leaf on your cutting boardand then use your knife tojust cut like where the leafypart meets the stem- Uh-huh!- Up to the top so you'll end up makingkind of like a V shaped cut.- [Mark] I'm making rhubarb!- Exactly, exactly!I think they might be related in fact.- Okay, all of 'em cut all theleaves away from all of these- All three, so cut,yeah, do the other ones!So keep your stem on your board.Leaves off to the side, whatcolor stems did you have?- I had red and I hadyellow and I had white.- [Carla] Oh perfect, sowe're exactly matched.They made mirror images.- I'd be really shockedif they gave me differentingredients this whole time.- I know, I would too.It would be really off brand.Okay, so then, just flip'em around we're gonna startfrom the thicker part of the,like whatever the bottom partof the stem and justcut the little ends offwhich might be a little dry.Toss those into the trash bowl.- Good![Carla laughing]- And then, I want you to justline these up side by side,wow you really whacked that didn't you?- To smithereens I did.- So now, line 'em up together,all three side by side by side.- Way ahead of you- And then just cut crosswisepretty thinly, I want these tobe like an eight of an inch.- [Mark] An eighth of an inch.- So we're gonna go all theway up to the other end.- There's two ends to everything, Carla!- I know, do you considerthe top of the leaf thoughactually to be the end?- I don't know!Except in my show, A Heist With Markiplierwhich has 31 ends.- Really?- Yeah actually.- Is it like choose your own adventure?- I'm not legally allowed to say that.Oh, I'm not bound by such restrictions.[Mark laughing]Let's move over to our hot plate,take the lid off of thispan, turn the power on,and then we're gonna turn this up to- Smithereens.- Yeah, go to like 325, sothat will be the little read adon the bottom.- I can read!I see numbers.- Well some people get confused becausethere's two sets of numbers.- Yeah, ones buildingup, who can't figure outwhich numbers go to which.- Um, I'm not legally allowed to say.So then, there's an adorablelittle cup of olive oilget that into your pan.- This is adorable, that is.- Isn't it?- Just adorable.- All right!Garlic into the pan.- Garlic into the pan.- And then, I'm gonna pickmy whole cutting board upand I'm just gonna scrapeall these Swiss Chard stemsright in there too.Good, sizzle!- Mine was a better sizzle.- Really?- Yeah!- I heard nothing!- Well [laughs] that's 'causeyour ears aren't finely tunedto the art of cooking as mine are.- All right, grab your wooden spoon.Give everybody a toss and stir.- Toss and stir.- And then, a nice, generousamount of salt and pepper.- Wait, which one, wait- Oh- Which salt?Wait a minute.- So there's salt right ne--There's a black plastic pepper grinder,so you can just hit it with some peps.- How many turns?- 10!- Too late!- Okay, and then right next tothat is a bowl of kosher saltand I would say like two big pinches.I already put mine in but I'll put,I'll put some more!All right, so now, if youhave a little browning,that's perfect, add the tomatoes.- All of 'em?- All of 'em!- Just dump 'em in?- Just dump 'em in!- [Mark] That doesn't seem right.- [Carla] It's right!And then add the chili blade.- Added!- Some of these tomatoes,their skins are gonna splitright away, I want youto toss 'em or stir themwhatever you're more comfortable with.- I'm a tosser!- Talk to me about the tomatoes.- Beautiful, pristine, never seen better.- Really?- Yeah!- But what are they actually doing?- I was lifting the pan off too longand it lost a lot of heat.- Okay, so with the pan on the heat- Yes- Have any of your skins split?- Started too.- Startin' too,a couple here and there?- Yeah!- Let's cover this pot.- Uh-huh.- Because we wanna makelike saucy things happen.- Saucy things.- So, they're gonnahave out for a second.- Okay!- And we can move on tolet's crack some eggs.So the idea here is wewe're gonna crack the egginto the small bowl and thenif we don't break our yolkthen it can go into the measuring cup.- I will not break a yolk!- Okay great!- I swear of this.- So one at a time, crackan egg into the small bowl.I might, I might break ayolk, you just don't know.- I will not- And then your shellcan go in the trash bowl.- I'm not gonna break a yolk.- I'm getting a very amazingtomato facial over here.The steam is going directly into my nose.- Yeah, well my steams scared of me,it knows to stay away.- Okay, you're competitive.- No- I'm just getting thatright now- Nuh-uh!- Uh-huh, yeah!All right, four eggs in the measuring cup?- Yep!- Great, let's raisethe lid over here.[tomatoes sizzling]And just let me know what you,describe what's happening.- I'm seeing the face of God in my dish.It's so beautiful, I'mweeping tears of joy.- That's a very emotionalreaction to the food.- If you looked at it, it wouldbe like raiders of the lostarc your face would just meltoff with just how good it is.- Really?- I would encourage youwith the back of your wooden spoon,to jut smash some of these tomatoesso that they release their juices.We need- Oh!- We need some juiciness.- Been some bad tomatoes over here.- Yeah, not smithereens.- Oh!- No, but like somepressing and splitting.- Take that!- Push 'em arounda little bit.- Take that!- Mhm, also lower the heat to a simmer.There's a little spoon in the,there's like a metalcontainer on your station.- Yes- And like look fora little teaspoon, I want you to tastethe tomato sauce, purgatory.- Okay- Tell me what happens- Oh!Wow!- Really?- I've never tasted somethingso divine!- My simmer is likea little, it's very active.- Oh, it's bubbling over here.- It's bubbling away,all right so now usingthe measuring cup, we'regonna pour these eggs inbut we're gonna pour themin so they go one at a timeso with the wooden spoon,just like make a little divotwhere the first ones gonnago, it's gonna fill right in.- Ah, I see, I see, I see.- You don't really haveto do this but just sort ofspoon a little sauce away.- Okay- And then,pouring slowly so only on egg- Got it!- Goes at a time,drop it in!- I got yaand then around the four- You got me?- Four quadrants?- And then do that,three more times so all four eggs.- Okay, got it!- Go in.And like trying to make itso they're not touching.- [Mark] This is easy.- And obviously, we'renot breaking any yolks.- Yeah, no- No, okay salty guyI want you to salt each egg.- [Mark] How much salt does this need?- [Carla] Well, I mean theeggs didn't really get salted.Everything else did.So just salt your egg.- Got iton it, in it, around it.- Okay cool.And then lid is gonna go onso what temperature are you at?- Oh 230, you know, I just wanted to--- Oh I'm at 230 too!All right, drop the lid on,clear off your cuttingboard and we are going totear our Swiss Chard leaves into--- To smitheroons.- Well, like this is gonnabe our Swiss Chard salad.- We're gonna tear 'em?- Yeah, tear 'em intobite size-ish pieces.[Mark grunting]- There's something veryvisceral about this recipe- Yeah- That I appreciate.- Let's dress it now so take the lemon.- Lemon- Cut her in half.squeeze into the Swiss Chard,use your hand to catch anyuh seeds that pass through!Half a lemon might be enough.A lot of force being exerted.- How do you squeeze a lemon?Weakly?Wimpily?I do it- It just succumbsat the merest touch.[Mark grunting]I don't know, wow.Have you sufficiently lemoned?- Of course- Okay, now salt.- More?- Yeah, this didn't getsalt yet, just 'causeeverybody else got salt.- Salt!- And then you can justtoss this with your handsmake sure everybody isseasoned and lemony.We actually need to move it along,for like, I'm not playing.And then, there's a squeezybottle with olive oiland then dress with olive oil too.- How much?- Enough to coat, maybe a little bit,like about the same amount of lemon juicebut we'll taste it.- Do I need to squeeze it ashard as I squeezed the lemon?- Yes.If olive oil does not likeshoot out of that thinglike a volcano- [laughs] It actually shotstraight through the bowl,I squeezed it too hard.- Mmm, okay.Get your salad out of theway and put the saute panright in front of your cutting board.Put your salad on your cutting board.- Cutting board, I wasalready way ahead of you.- Now, mmm--Wipe off your cutting boardand put your dinner plateon your cutting board andnow find the big metal spoonin your container, beholdthe eggs in purgatoryby lifting the shield off- Ahhh!- And then, I want you to scoopout the two most beautifulof these two eggs.- You got it!- Just made sure you get under 'em'cause again, runny yolk.- Uh-huh, uh-huh.- [Carla] I'm feelingvery happy about this.And so two eggs with some of the sauce.- Some of the sauce- You can take a handfulof salad- Handful of salad.- [Carla] Handful ofsalad off to the side,don't cover up all thebeautiful things that you did.- All right!- And now there's a littleadorable basil plant, we'rejust gonna take a couple sprigsand just tear, if they'resmall you don't need to tear,just tear a couple of basilleaves and put 'em over the eggsjust a few!- I really had to resistthe temptation to yank thiswhole thing out by the root.I really want to.- Thank you for resisting.- [Mark] I tear 'em and put 'em on what?The eggs or the salad?- Over the eggs.Little basil on the eggs and on the sauce.- [Mark] On the sauce.- And then, there's adifferent bowl of salt,like a very coarse, flaky salt.- Yes, there it is- I know it seems likea lot of salt, we're gonna add a little,last little bit of salt, justa little, little sprinkle.- On just the eggs?- Just the eggs,and the sauce!- [Mark] And the sauce!- All right, so pick up plate.- Picking up.- And then we're gonna turn back aroundand behold the beauty!- Okay.- Okay,three, two, one, behold [gasps]- Behold- It is beautiful!- I know- Great tearing!- [Mark] Thank you!- [Carla] Amazing eggs!- Thank you!- The wonderful amazing eggs!Very similar!- Why would I?- He doesn't have to!- Mines better!- Obviously mines incredible.We don't need to go over that.- You salad doesn't evenhave any color or substance,look at that tear.- Okay, nows the best part.I get to eat your eggs.- Oh okay, cool!- And we'll find out- All right- If they're heavenly.- I will say yourinstructions were fantastic.- Thank you- The whole way through.- I was being a jerk- Oh no!- Just as a self defense mechanism.[Carla laughing]Like I'm so insecureI couldn't possibly even imagine.- Well, I did wanna mentionthe very aggressive tearingof the Swiss Chard was veryeffective in breaking down someof the Swiss Chard's fibersand you've actually tenderizedthe Chard and mine is not so tender.- I was gonna point that out.Thank you for recognizing my technique.- In the you know, sort ofdestroy the universe approachit really worked- Mhm!- Mmmm, lemony!- Lemony- Delicious.Mmm!Great- Carla, this is delicious.- Delicious, hold on, I needto see if your sauce is spicy.Mmm, mmm!Very sassy, not too salty,amazingly not too saltyfor the amount of salt that you added.- I was being careful withit, but yeah, you're right.Like I love salt, this is delicious.- Delicious!- Did not take a lot of work.- Look, this ones running.- Just so everyone knows,100% joking the whole way through,you were lovely, I was strugglingas people could probablysee but I make up for mylack of cooking skillswith utter confidence!But Carla here was amazingwith all the instructions,really made it easy andfun, cooking is fun!- He was legally obligated to say that[Mark laughing]Just so you know.