"I spoke against God in despair and anger... What should I do?"
"I spoke against God in despair and anger... What should I do?"

Our listener asks, "Hi, my name is Samuel Johannesen and I am 22 years old, i believed the gospel 1 Cor.

15 from the time i was about 8 years old i think, a lot has happened in my life, horrible things, i lost my home about 7 times, my father died and i have many diseases in my body and perhaps some defects in my mind i do not know, when i was at my lowest i said the same things the pharisees said to Jesus concerning the blasphemy of the Holy Spirit, i said it out of despair and anger and brokenness, and i used to have a very good relationship to God and a lot of hope and light, and this joy of salvation, but everything seems to have gone away and i feel empty and it is like Satan haunts me every second of the day about the things i said and i live in fear, i truly believed the gospel when i was younger, i know i did and i understood it also, but i do not know what is happening now, i rebelled against God on purpose when my father died of cancer and then i said what is said, which was the same thing the pharisees said and i just feel like my heart is broken and faith is broken and i do not know what to do.

What should i do?"